We are homeowners!

At least I think we are. We were in the house last night until almost 2:00 AM with the insane carpet guy, so I hope there was a good reason for that. That carpet guy was wi-red. I am unsure how many chemicals were competing in his system, but I am pretty sure he got us a good deal. Yesterday was such a day and my vacation starting tomorrow is shaping up to be hardcore, but we OWN a house now. We could tell some discouraging stories about the journey, but now they have a big, bright light at the end of the tunnel (not a train).

Catch Up on Events

Happy Solstice! I am grateful that the sun shall start returning to us northerners now. Sorry southern hemisphere, but you had a good run.

Anyway, here's some stuff that has happened somewhat recently in no particular order:


We delve into the enigma that is Thomas Jefferson.

Brother and Sister-in-law shoot guns.

El Esposo goes for the ride of his life in Maw Maw and Paw Paw's front yard.

Handling our weapons.

We shop for tile.

We celebrate -- us.

Not pictured: I finally give in to the scorn and ridicule and go to the eye doctor to get some more contacts. And, we buy lots of painting supplies, a hot water heater, and a dishwasher.

-- Tomorrow's big adventure?



Merry Christmas! It's true us Christians co-opted the actual day from the Pagans, but why not? It is the first day the sun starts "heading back north" (aka the earth's axis starts to rotate that way). So it represents hope for all northern hemisphereans. Happy day of hope, northerners. Catch you on the flipside southerners? Or something.

Hooray, we made it past the celebrity novelty/starter marriage marker!

I don't think you normally put a comma after "Hooray," but I felt good about it here.

But, this deserves many exclamation points and title case:
Our First Anniversary!!!
(It was on the first, actually, but I wasn't about to blog on that day.)

I can assure all two blog readers that my husband is wonderful and that I am lucky to be married to him (but if you know him you already realize this). Male odors notwithstanding, I pretty much hit the jackpot. A year later this is only more so.

*** Originally I wrote a whole blog full of musings and reflections on marriage year one, but this just doesn't seem like the right forum after all ***

Going to the swampland

I'm leaving in fifteen minutes to go to my birthplace: Lake Charles, Louisiana. I haven't practiced my cajun yell in years, so I'm sure it sucks. AAAAAAAIIEEEEEE. It's actually a very bizarre feeling to go there now as we used to be so close to that side of the family when I was growing up in the south but as soon as we moved to Kansas in Jr. High (and then New Jersey, and then all the places I've been since then) we've been the outsiders. We see them every few years at best for a day or two. El Esposo has never met any of my mom's family so it's going to be a treat. I'm excited for the warmth and for the re-forging of family connections and the totally-different-from-D.C. culture, but I'm trepidatious too. I feel like such a Yankee going to the Southland where I no longer belong.

Know Your Onion

Zombie Steve tagged me on this a while ago, and today I found my shuffle (which means I have not been running lately, since that's what I primarily use it for) and am waiting for someone to finish a paper for class so we can eat dinner, so it seems the time is ripe . . .

1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, Winamp, etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put the artist after a dash following the song name.
5. Put any comments in brackets.
6. Tag some lucky people to spread the disease.

How would you describe yourself?
Love Spreads Around - The Stone Roses (ok?)

How do you feel today?
The District Sleeps Alone Tonight - Postal Service (Hmm. I will not be sleeping alone, but the mood of this song is kind of fitting? Lethargic and poco melancholic.)

What is your life’s purpose?
Creep - Radiohead (Now that's a lovely assessment. I normally skip this song when I'm running, so I don't buy it.)

What is your motto?
Got You (end of a century) - Wilco

What do you think about very often?
Legal Man - Belle and Sebastian (I do work at the Department of Justice)

What is your life story?
"In the Backseat" - Arcade Fire (When I was growing up my family had this awesome full sized fan with the plush captain's chairs and stuff and my spot on all of our long trips was lying down in the back seat, two brothers in the captains chairs in front of me and the other brother sprawling on the floor - awesomely safe, I know, but this was the eighties - of course my parents were in the front)

What do you want to be when you grow up?
No Cars Go - Arcade Fire (I have a lot of Arcade Fire on my shuffle. I like running to them)

What will you dance to at your wedding?
Barstow - Jay Farrar (Aw. This is kind of sweet, because el esposo spent about half of his mission (for the LDS church) in this city. Great song, of course.)

What will they play at your funeral?
Near Wild Heaven - REM (Awesomely apt!)

What is your hobby/interest?
The Projectionist - The Places (I dunno, but I'm glad I looked this up b/c I meant to get this whole album a while ago)

If you could do anything right now, what would it be?
Shelter From the Storm - Bob Dylan (it is pretty cold outside.)

What do you want most of all?
Lady Madonna - Beatles (uh . . . no I do not WANT to be a single mom. That would be hard.)

What is your greatest fear?
This Heart's on Fire - Wolf Parade

What is your darkest secret?
Act of the Apostle 1 - Belle and Sebastian (uh . . .)

What is your favorite thing in the world?
July - Decemberists (Not my favorite thing in the world but this weird song is wonderful pop that I love dance-running to)

If you could have one wish, what would you wish for?
I Am Superman - REM (Ha. REM is here for comic relief, I think)

What is your theme song?
True Love Will Find You in the End - Daniel Johnston (This absolutely IS my theme song. I didn't know it before, but yeah.)

The next time you hear this song (aside from now, that is), you must dance.
Chicago - Sufjan Stevens (not really a problem)

What will you post this as?
Know Your Onion - The Shins


Ok, I tag Lizzie if she happens to read this b/c she is good at these tag things and she has good music.

This post is for Robyn, but she'll have to get some speakers

I was over at SJ's blog, making some comment about Jurassic Park and the late Michael Chrichton. So, I got curious and googled Michael Chrichton, only to find out that he was the genius behind the movie Westworld. If you have never seen it, it is so worth the rental/netflix/etc. In the words of Steven Malkmus pretending to be Yul Brenner: "Perhaps you saw me in Westworld / I acted like a robotic cowboy / It was my best role / I cannot deny I / felt right home deep inside / that electronic carcass." If you've seen the episode of the Simpsons where they go to Itchy and Scratchy Land and all hell breaks loose, you already know the plot, but it is the stellar acting of Yul Brenner that makes the movie.

Apparently Michael Chrichton had no involvement in Futureworld, the sequel to Westworld, a decision he likely never regretted. However, it has to be said that lackluster though the majority of the movie is, Futureworld has the best dream sequence ever recorded on film, during which Yul Brenner makes his only appearance to reprise his role as the gunslinger. (Warning, I guess, this is kind of erotic, but mostly in a weird way, not a sexy way.) Behold:

Motivation . . . or "I'll see you in Hell"

I'm thinking about adding this phrase to the end of all polite written/email requests I send, just to give them a little more context. "Please get back to me by COB Tuesday or I'll see you in Hell." It's all in good fun, of course. Or is it?

El Esposo and I were especially thinking about ending our latest addendum (#4) to a certain contract (the one we've been waiting on since August 3rd) with the words "Or we'll see you in hell," right after the new deadline. You know something like, "Respond by X date or we'll see you in Hell." What do you think? Would that motivate you? Maybe I could soften it with a smiley face :-).

My subconscious told me to post this

Last night I dreamt that Michelle Obama came to my Sunday School class at church. Only it wasn't my regular sunday school class; there were only about eight people in it. Weirdly, no one was really talking to her. No one was saying "Oh my gosh, you're Michelle Obama," or anything of the sort. I was feeling very shy, but I kept stealing glances at her. Later, I followed her out to the parking lot and told her that I really admired her and that I was very "proud" of her husband. She was gracious about it, but also very guarded. I realized that she had started smoking a cigarette but was trying to hide it, especially from the group of kids that had apparently followed me out. I decided that maybe she was embarassed so I abruptly/politely ended the conversation, walked away and brought all the kids back with me so they wouldn't have to know she smoked.

Later in the dream I was thinking to myself about how I totally needed to blog about my run-in with Michelle Obama.

And now I have.

Over 25% of Identity Theft Involves Someone You Know

I just saw this ad (see the title) on bankrate as I was perusing the daily mortgage rates (which I do every single day) and it made me laugh, so I thought I would share it with you two or three people.

I'm just wondering why the criminals are targeting the people I know so hard? Or is it the people I know that are the perpetrators in 25% of cases? I mean, seriously, how many people do I know? A few hundred? Okay, maybe a thousand if we're stretching it to include all possible acquaintances? And there are what like 6 billion people on the planet? If you're reading this and you know me, you better be careful.

Everything is New Again

Last night el Esposo and I exchanged a high-five when President-Elect Obama (that seems so weird to say) mentioned people that stood in line for three or four hours to vote. I think that might have been the moment the realization started to flood, the full knowledge of what the country had just done. I actually like McCain pretty well. I would have voted for him in 2000 (at which time he seemed much more moderate). But the tide has very much turned since then and his time has passed and in 2009 the United States of America will inaugurate our first black president. Not only that, but our president is going to be a guy with a name unlike any of the 43 before him. Just saying it-President Obama-seems so surreal. The movies can no longer indicate "the future" by showing a black president on a tv screen. We are already there. It is so cool.

I am wary of the coming years a bit because there are going to be a ton of challenges for a president who really is pretty untried in challenging situations as an executive. Of course, I only have to think about Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln was a state legislator for 8 years and a U.S. Congressman for 2 years (during which he did not particularly stand out) before he was elected president.

Three hours later . . .

I voted! And I got a sticker. And I was very late to work. And everyone was cool with it. Yay for living in a democratic society. Yay for election volunteers. Yay for not drinking anything before I got in line.

My Uber Fandom is Out of Control

I figure it's almost election day, might as well post something of transcendent value. Anyway, somehow in the last month, El Esposo and I have become "huge fans" of the kid from the movie Holes.

The place we stayed in Vermont had satellite TV and we watched the movie Transformers. Then the weekend before last we went on a double date with our friends we've been meaning to hang out with for over a year. We saw Eagle Eye. And finally this weekend, we rented the new Indiana Jones. All movies starring our friend from Holes and Disney Channel fame. I feel like it is my duty to review each film and particularly the performance of the kid from Holes, as I am now an expert on his body of work.

Holes

In the movie, Holes, the kid from Holes begins to establish his street cred as the go-to young male actor for the harmless outcast/underdog role. He plays a kid with a long history of bad luck who is trying to change his fortune and break the "curse" on his family. He is sent to some sort of juvenile prison camp in some random out-of-the-way desert area in the lovely United States. There he interacts with several outcast/reject types with various issues, teaches a boy to read, escapes, brings down the evil prison camp, and clears his name. This movie is good fun. I watched it with five or six thirteen year old boys and we were all equally satisfied. It's a touching film.

Next we have Transformers
In this film, the kid from Holes plays a high school outcast who bought a car that turned out to be alive. The car "chose" him because his grandfather was the discoverer of this thing-a-ma-jig that will destroy earth or something. Anyway he fights the evil machines with the help of the good machines and saves the world. This movie plays especially to the adolescent male crowd with the fantasy of the nerd/underdog getting the "hot chick." That angle was pretty amusing, but the dialogue in this movie was also quite amusing. I think a fun game to play with the movie Transformers might be to count the non sequiturs. The plot is not very developed, but the random things people say in the movie make for some good entertainment.

Eagle Eye


To continue the historical journey we should have the Indiana Jones movie next, but I'd rather go in the order that I saw the films. So next we have Eagle Eye, complete with family baggage and evil machines. The kid from Holes plays the less-favored, less-capable, dare-I-say "outcast" twin brother who is thrust into this mega- super- hyper- uber- intense series of high impact action where he is being monitored and told what to do through technology. It's a classic fear of technology film, but I found it to be good fun and I would highly recommend it. It's quite enjoyable to make jokes about technology controlling our lives after viewing this film. The kid from Holes continues his accidental action hero routine.

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Finally, we have the new Indiana Jones movie. To be frank, it is not very good. Ten minutes in, we paused it to get our frozen pizza out of the oven and El Esposo was already saying Harrison Ford is not delivering the goods as normal. I assured him that it's Harrison Ford and if anybody can charm with witty remarks amidst unlikely action it is him. He just needs something to work with. Wait for it. So we waited and waited and then it was over. The Holes kid plays the secret son of Indiana Jones, who has a bit of a tough kid outcast act (though of course he's loveable and harmless) and, oh yeah, family baggage from not ever knowing his father. The action in the movie is pretty inventive and it's not like the acting is actually bad, just adequate. It's mostly a weak script here that is at fault, but the difference between this movie and every other movie on this list is that this not fully realized script has pretty much no redeeming qualities. No entertaining non-sequitirs, no playing on real fears in real life, and no classic Harrison Ford wit.

In summary, I remain a huge fan of the kid from Holes, but break from the super-fan sentiment that he can do no wrong and every picture he is in shines.

Bobby Pins

Something woke me at 7:57 am. It was not my alarm. No, that had long since failed. It must have been my conscience. Or my instinctive fight-or-flight mechanism. The thing that sometimes motivates me when nothing else will:

OK, the fear of getting fired.

I woke, I turned to my trusty phone and saw the numbers 7-5-7. "What?" I said. And then for good measure, "What?" El Esposo mumbled something and turned over. I was supposed to catch the 8:05 bus.

As I leapt and ran across to the bathroom, I briefly considered going as is. But then I remembered that I had not showered post-yoga last night. Cute as my hair looked curled in a nest atop my head, I was not going to work stinky. We have no showers there and grossing out the client is not good business practice. My best hope was the 8:17 bus.

About 8:13 I was clean and dressed and looking at my partially dry, mostly wild-looking hair style in the mirror. No time for niceties such as hair product, I turned to that trusted and true standard of hair taming, the bobby pin. Grabbed a few on my way out the door, ran all the way to the stop, and have been living fabulous ever since. Wikipedia says this hair fastener became the standard in the twenties when the bob was in style. What I could not find out, though, was exactly when it was invented.

My mini epiphany about doctors

So not that long ago, I am sitting in my doctor's office on the bed with the butcher paper for a checkup and I say:
"So doc, I started taking this herbal stuff for this annoyance of mine. What do you think?"
And doc said, "If it works for you, you should use it."
"You don't have any recommendations about it?"
"Not if you like it."
"And on the bottle there's some bit about seeing your doctor about whether to use this stuff if you get pregnant*. But it's really just like a type of sugar, so I'm thinking, how bad can it be?"
"Right. Sounds like BS to me," says the doc. "I wouldn't worry."
(*I'm not pregnant, just thorough.)

I nod, but I immediately start going over the conversation in my head and I realize that all the doctor had really done is agree with me. So I start to think what use is his expertise. He's the doctor, not me. Shouldn't HE be telling ME whether or not this stuff works well? And then it hits me. The answer to this question is NO. The doctor does not know more about me than I do. And why, in fact, should he? He's trying to see as many of us as quickly as possible and why should I blame him as something has got to keep my insurance premiums down?

A short few weeks later I'm rowing a canoe with el esposo (see pic below) and I start telling him what I think about doctors. I tell him I think sometimes people get the wrong idea. They expect doctors to be like this omniscient being that knows exactly what's wrong with them and how to fix it. So then when the doctor misses something and gets a diagnosis wrong or gives them a medication that doesn't fix everything, people get so angry. On the other hand, some people assume their doctor is preaching the truth even when it doesn't seem quite right to them based on their experience, because as everyone knows doctors are omniscient. I think we can assign both too much power and too much guilt to doctors. I tell El Esposo that we are the ones that are really responsible for our own health.

El Esposo agrees and offers the addition that people often don't keep track of themselves and their illnesses enough to give their doctors all the info they need to make the correct diagnosis. His grandfather has always received excellent medical care because he keeps excellent notes.

I'm not saying doctors don't do amazing things and don't have loads of valuable experience and knowledge from years of intense schooling. Of course they do. I respect them and their expertise. They can also be responsible for the severe errors in judgment they sometimes make. However, I think in most circumstances the onus of responsibility for our health is on us (or the parents of a child, of course). Feel empowered. I do.

And I'm not even going to talk about health care coverage. I'm just not. Because that is a whole other topic.

The most relaxing vacation of my life

It's not really that hard to earn the title of "most relaxing vacation of my life" since I am used to family vacations where you wake up around 6 AM every day to cram as much high-velocity action! action! action! as possible into the minutes and hours. And of course there's often some sort of melt-down to add to the excitement. In short, my family is awesome. But just as there is a time to be awesome, there is a time to chill . . . (That was definitely a quote from the Bible, yes?)

This vacation also easily beat out the honeymoon for most relaxing since I did not have vertigo and we made zero stops at the emergency room. Though true that you have never lived unless you have spent hours just sitting in a chair trying not to move so as not to disrupt the ear canal or better yet walked down the street in a jaggedy un-pattern just waiting to fall on your face, sometimes you just want to have some control over a few simple bodily functions . . .

This trip was basically perfect. It was beautiful, tranquil, and felt very much like the calm before the storm. (No, I'm not pregnant.) Though by the end of the week we were pretty much ready to get back to the semi-city life. Ah, Vermont. Land of the unpopulous, where the only major chain restaurant is Ben and Jerry's, where hippies and kids that belong in the movie Juno (wielding pipes--what WERE they doing?)roam the streets of your capital city by night, where reside the paradoxical friendly/guarded folk, where everyone is conscientious and conscious and McCain stands no chance, where every town is a small town, and the hills/mountains roll on in unobtrusive beauty. We probably couldn't live there long term (well maybe if I become a famous writer and am asked to teach at Middlebury), but a week was wonderful.

Quick, before the memories starts to fade, here are some photos:


This is the view from our back porch where we stayed on Lake Elmore:

This is in Burlington:

El Esposo is standing on the remains of a cabin overlooking a vista on our hike up Mt. Elmore.

This is the only picture we remembered to take at the Ben and Jerry's tour. I think it's supposed to be a giant straw or something?

Us Canoeing. The picture is kind of odd, but I kind of like it.

Middlebury:

BACK to work on a holiday

The hard thing about coming back to work on a federal holiday after a week's vacation is the nagging conscience that seems to think it might be a good idea for me to consider at least pretending that I might possibly care about trying to complete any actual work with 3/4 of the workforce at my office gone.

I would insert a youtube clip of Gwyneth Paltrow in The Royal Tennenbaums if that didn't conflict with my desire to do nothing.

Ch- ch- ch- changes are my favorite

So I've been living in the same metro area for over five years! It's insane. The only plausible explanation would be that I did it for a boy, and that would be basically true. And of course it's worth it.

I have also now been working at my same job for two years, which is easily a record. I sort of tried to leave earlier this year but then I got one of those offers you can't refuse.

Interestingly, one of my biggest fears is stagnation. (Okay I'll confess "interestingly" is an inside joke between me and a co-worker that does not read this blog, based on an email that was sent to us that included a bunch of work for us to do. "Interestingly" was the first word in the email and it had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the contents, which were the opposite of interesting. Just a common case of adverb overuse, I guess.)

So, yes, staganation. I used to fight stagnation by going to some random location (like a national park) that I'd never been to work for the summer. Now I have to live vicariously through others doing really exciting stuff and take on random projects like say teaching a class, taking a class, doing some pro-bono freelancing, planning a wedding, writing a novel, what-have-you. This way I can ingore when my job gets REALLY boring so that I can continue to collect a paycheck and sock it away for an eventual world takeover (or to buy a house, gosh darnit, silly willy little short sale madness arrgh, me matey!!!).

Also, I occasionally get massive haircuts. Like the one I'm getting today. Two fun bonus things about really massive haircuts: a) you can congratulate yourself for doing good by donating your hair to make wigs for kids and b) you can get someone at a decent salon to cut your hair for free. I would say that these two items are of equal importance to me, but the thing I like most is the big change in appearance. There is some fear involved, certainly (like I hope I don't get really terrible looking too-short boy hair), but that makes it all the more exciting.

Before and After photos to come as events unfold . . .

OK. So no real "normal" before pictures. We were in a hurry, but there was some documentation, via camera phone, as follows:


My luxurious locks. If you look closely, you may see the photographer.

The stylist is cutting into my defenseless little braid!

The look immediately after first chop

The final product, from the back.

Still working on the exact stylin' but I think I like it. Perhaps I'll get a better photo soon, also.

In the meantime I am going on vacation with El Esposo and will be sans internets. "Catch you on the flipside."

Thursday Thing One and Thing Two (letters)

Yes it's Friday, but these happened on Thursday:

1) I finally wrote a letter (well email) to my high school English teacher, thanking him for being so awesome. He was by far my best teacher in high school and his influence lasted for long after that. Not only did his enthusiasm and sheer coolness (he was the teacher that wore jeans, talked about music, and some of the girls had crushes on - yep, I was included) turn me onto literature like never before, but really it was the respect for his students that made the biggest difference. He led us in these great philosophical discussions, but he was much more the facilitator than the taskmaster. He expected us to have good ideas and to help him arrive at a better understanding of the meaning of literature, just like he helped us. I was already a pretty independent person, but he helped me trust and challenge my own brain as a teenager when we got plenty of messages that we were not good enough and the bane of everyone's existence. I have also tried to emulate his style in teaching when I have taught, which is above all else to expect your students to be up to the challenge, to respect them and their ideas, and to treat them as near-equals (hey, you still have to give them a grade).

He replied to my email soon after I sent it, sincerely and sweetly telling how much it had meant to him. I could also tell he is still the intelligent, sensitive, and hip person I remember. I thought to myself how easy it is sometimes to make another person feel good. That was cool.

2)I got a letter from my sponsored child Raul Esteban who lives in Chile. I've been sponsoring him for over two years now and I have been mostly lazy about my sponsorship: the money gets extracted every month and I hardly notice it. Recently for his birthday, I actually sent him a real letter and birthday greeting. He returned my letter with a very enthusiastic and authentic-sounding letter of his own. I had a great time trying to translate it and then checking with the version the Children International people had put underneath it. It was such a sweet and grateful reply. I had told him about getting married and he congratulated me and "sent" me a big hug and a kiss (for El Esposo too). He said he hoped El esposo would be a good husband. It was so nice. And, by the way, yes I do have a very good husband.

It's a whole bunch of little things that make up our lives, and sometimes the little things don't seem to amount to much. But then again, sometimes they do, and then I'm like, Oh yeah, duh. That's what it's supposed to be like.

Book Club

At work we started a book club. Actually, I didn't start it but I was invited to join. It's not a book reading club. It's a book writing club. I've got to say it adds an extra sense of purpose to my work day on Friday. We meet during lunch on Fridays and one person is kind of the star of the show and talks about their book and we offer feedback. Some of these people in the club are people I work with closely and I was a bit worried as the "team" structure of my office is not really that team-y. One of them is someone that tells me what to do some of the time and one of them is someone I tell what to do some of the time. So I thought it might be awkward. But it's not. Anyway, if you want to spice up your office and put a new spin on traditional reporting structures, I offer this book writing club as a good idea.

Today's Couplet

It's not exactly a couplet, but it feels like one.


I know someone who’s wasting her life
And that someone is me
All my new devices
Quickly becoming vices


I wrote it yesterday after work when I was surfing this world wide web thing instead of working on two projects I knew I needed to work on.