Into the dangerous world

So there I was, confined to a hospital bed, in unholy (read: pitocin-induced) labor, listening to LCD's "Antony and the Johnsons" Pandora station while breathing through contractions. And then Bright Eyes' "First Day of My Life" starts playing. And of course, I utterly lose it. Even though it's not really about childbirth and babies, it may as well be.

This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said “this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

So if you want to be with me
With these things there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me

Welcome to the world, Mr. Colin, my Pi Day baby.

Meal Planning, I am doing it

I seriously can't handle it anymore and know it's going to be infinitely harder with two kidlets, so I'm really making it happen. Today we are eating Domino's for dinner, but I started making a list of stuff I know how to make, especially the ones I make frequently and that are somewhat easy when I am the only adult in the house. If my random three readers have any low-stress but still somewhat interesting and tasty recipes to share I would love it. Here's most of my ideas so far, Believe it or not the seafood stuff is the most likely to be eaten by the two-year-old.

My go-to meals
Linguini with clam sauce
Dijon/BK Breaded Fish
Stroganoff
Soup: chicken or beef with noodles, sweet potatoes, spinach, onions, carrots, etc.
Baked chicken
Sausage and spinach pasta
Baked salmon, rice, veggie

Sometimes meals
Spaghetti w/ meatballs
King Ranch Chicken
Tacos and Mexican Rice
Omelets

Holy crap we finished the basement (and other happenings)

Remember how I posted about our latest home project and I kind of made it sound all wrapped up? Yeah, that was just the mold removal phase. Now finally as of yesterday morning, all drywall is up; wiring re-done where necessary; walls painted; baseboards also painted, assembled, and attached; and stuff reorganized enough to actually use the main room as a functional place to hang out/play music/play toys.

Also, some severely nice people threw me a baby shower and baby #2 now has clothes! And we also got to see some old friends this weekend that I go back 10+ years with. And then we actually had time to "relax" while watching a movie last night. By relax I mean half-heartedly watch the movie while I sorted all of baby brother's clothes and LCD halfway built a shoe rack. Luckily it was a slow-going thoughtful movie so we didn't have to pay that much attention to get the gist.

Next on my checklist is to pack for the hospital and tidy up the house for visitors. I am kind-of-sort-of-almost ready to have this kid.

Second Time Around

4 weeks to go (okay 3 1/2) and I am of about thirty minds.

I'm pretty tired and uncomfortable (nothing surprisingly so--I have to admit I have pretty average pregnancies, maybe even on the easy side), and think about the future wherein most of my clothes more or less fit.

I also want to enjoy every last minute with my precious oldest child. I don't know that I can give words to how awesome she is and how lucky I am to have her. And what a great Daddy she has, by the way.



I'm scared, a little. Less than I thought I would be, but it's still there. Taking my fish oil like a champ to ward off depression. Doing my preggo workout to ward off repeat tears from hell. All the while the serenity prayer plays in the background.

I'm unprepared. So far the child owns two shirts (only one will fit him right away). No bags packed, no carseat loaded, no bassinet set up, no clue on his name. We still have time.

At least I am 99.9% convinced we still have plenty of time. Not expecting this kid before spring arrives officially. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. Yes I am setting myself up for karma to kick my butt.

I feel ready. Which is kind of odd, since I'm not. But I think I can love this baby. I think I can be mom in a family of four. I think I can handle whatever he throws my way, because I will have my sweet sunshiney two-year-old with me to remind me that nothing lasts long. Well nothing except that welded-forever feeling.

Yet, I am clueless about the logistics of it all. I feel like I can picture us hanging around the house, but I can't quite picture how I will get two kids in the car without losing one (uh the two-year-old).

I'm excited to have LCD home with me for six weeks! What. The. Awesome.

I'm excited to "go into" labor. No forcing or cajoling. No drugs, no fears beyond the normal stuff. I hope I get to experience that.

I know I might not experience that. And I'm okay with it. I think.

I do have this suspicion that having two of them might make me seem or feel more legitimate as a parent. Not that I'm pretending now or anything. But just that I only know how to do it one way. Soon I'll be able to compare with a sample group of two instead of one.

I'm a little worried that none of the things that worked for Little A will work for this one. But it also makes me oddly hopeful, since almost nothing worked for Little A as a newborn. I mean, what are the odds of having two in a row like that?

Diaper changes might be a little different this time.

I just don't see how "sleep when the baby sleeps" has any hope of working this time. "Sleep when the baby sleeps while simultaneously the toddler deigns to actually stay down for a nap?" Again, can I say how excited I am to have LCD home with me for six weeks?

I'm so happy it's almost spring. And it's staying light out til 6:00!

Well, that's fifteen, which is probably already three times as much as anyone wanted to read, so I think I'll call it good.

Random kid stuff

I'm 90% sure we're signing up Little A for preschool next year. We went to visit a couple recently and she was in LOVE with the idea of preschool after that. She would be in a 2 1/2 yr old class, which is kind of pre-preschool (meaning not much curriculum). I felt conflicted about it for a while since I first had the idea as a way to SAVE money since the hourly rate for preschool is less than that of a babysitter and I do have to get her babysat a couple times during the week when I am working. But my work is so very unpredictable that there are bound to be times she is going to preschool while I am bringing in approximately squat $. But I think we have finally settled on it being worth it anyway, partially because Little A loves other kids but has very little concept of how to interact with the ones that are actually her age and that don't see everything she does as automatically "cute." And because of a little something I like to call discipline fatigue.

Also, I realized today that I am six weeks away from my official due date (which I think is off by a few days, but whatever I'm in the ballpark) for baby brother. To my surprise, even though we technically aren't ready (no diapers, no clothes, house in shambles, etc.), I kind of feel ready for this. I am not scared out of my mind like I thought I would be. I know it's a whole new ballgame with two, but I feel like I waded through a lot of crap to get to where I can feel confident that I am not a horrible parent. Sure my kids will bear some scars from my mistakes, but I think they will be okay. And sure I will be a wrecked, tired, bumbling fool for at least the first six weeks (if not six months), but I've done this before. This is probably just my mood of the moment, but I think I will let it be for a while.

I just ordered LCD a couple CDs for his birthday. Is that even a legitimate thing to do anymore?

The Instigator

Definitely still his best album.

But, speaking of instigators, I'm starting to get a glimpse into Little A's future. A few days ago at playgroup, she goaded two other two-year-olds into playing in the mud with her. By the way, we were not dressed for it. I thought playgroup would be inside since it rained that morning, but it got moved. Since I know my child, I thought things might get messy, but I did not want to deprive her of the chance to play and interact with others. And so, after repeatedly trying to get her to stay out of puddles, I relented when she was on the other side of the playground from me and I was sitting comfortably. She kept telling the other two (both boys, I might add) "Come on!" At first they hesitated, but eventually they were all jumping and covered in muddy water. Oh well, the joys of childhood, right?

One of the other moms commented, "I can just see Little A being the ringleader of her friends when she's older."

"Oh no," I suddenly had a thought. "I hope she doesn't convince them to do anything illegal." Bad Influence!

Baby Ninja

Baby brother gave us a scare today. At my appointment this morning, I was measuring six weeks behind! Six flippin' weeks! For the uninitiated, that "measurement" is based on fundal height, aka how tall is ye olde uterus these days by tape measure? So they sent me in for an ultrasound almost right away and in the meantime I had two hours to google every thing that might be wrong (fun). Turns out he's just a little hiding ninja and is measuring totally normal via ultrasound. From now on when people tell me "you're so small!" I will say one of four things:

-Yes, he's adept at blending in to his surroundings, like a ninja. Or Rambo.
-I know, how efficient is my awesome body, right?
-It's probably my rock solid abs.
-Shove it.