31 July 2008

Break Even Day!

As of today's paycheck, I am finally in the black for the first time since grad school. The amount of money I owe the US government (they are my only creditor) is slightly less than the amount of money I have in liquid assets. Who knew that some day I would be a contributing member of society? It only took thirty years.

I have to revel in it while I can, since as soon as we buy a house this is all gone. I know a house is an asset, but it sure is a liability too.

29 July 2008

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness sans health insurance

As I am home sick today with some kind of stomach virus, the time is ripe for this post . . .

Between the time I finished grad school in May 2003 until I "sold out to the man" and "got a real job" in January 2005, I had no health insurance and I lived on cheap foods that were not particularly nutritious. It was pretty dumb of me to not get my own insurance, but I was only twenty-four and as luck would have it I did not once really need medical attention during that time. I know plenty of horror stories of people that opted not to have health insurance for a brief period and then ended up needing serious surgery after they broke their leg in a rock climbing or skateboarding or car accident and then were in debt for pretty much forever after that. Woman of danger that I was, I liked to think I had some idea of what it felt to be without health insurance. But, I didn't.

The last few days I have been trying to research what a person with a chronic disease can do without health insurance. I am researching this on behalf of an actual person I know with a chronic disease and multiple complications, all of which are currently untreated. I am looking into medicaid, social security administered disability, and what to do if you can't qualify for either. I have learned a lot.

For instance, from the official CMS website: "Medicaid does not provide medical assistance for all poor persons. Even under the broadest provisions of the Federal statute (except for emergency services for certain persons), the Medicaid program does not provide health care services, even for very poor persons, unless they are in one of the designated eligibility groups." So what do you do if you are very poor and so sick that you can't work, but don't technically qualify for medicaid? In my current experience, it is clear that some people do nothing but wait for deliverance. Perhaps because they don't have access to the internet to do their research or because they are uneducated or even because they were taught not to ask for help for themselves, but to put others first.

I am now researching low-cost or free healthcare clinics that exist as a safety net to keep those on the margins from being lost. Many are managed completely by volunteers, which is so admirable to me. However, because they are run and staffed by volunteers they have limited hours and services. Still, this may be the best solution.

I wonder if it should be this hard, though. I expect that when the US constitution was created, health care was completely different. It was common for the sick to just die and for women not to survive childbirth with much greater frequency than today. But with the advances in medicine today there are still people that die in their homes because they either can not afford the medical care they need or because they are unaware of how to get it. So these pursue happiness and are guaranteed life and liberty in the space between the bathroom and the bedroom only until their bodies succomb to otherwise treatable conditions.

I know there are many people that know a lot more than I do about this topic, and this is just my paltry couple of cents based on only a few days of searching in between my work and life activities. Do with it what you will.

25 July 2008

Finding "the One"


It's all about timing. I know I've said this before, but it's true. Whoever said you have to kiss a lot of frogs, that's true too. And it's also probably true that there's not really just one for anybody. Nonetheless, it feels kind of magical when your paths intersect at just the right time and in just the right way and soon (or not soon) you realize you can actually make this work. You have to be ready for the effort it will take, though. And it may take you a series of heartbreaks to get ready. But this is okay. This is part of the joy you will feel.

At least that is what I'm hoping. You see, we have already "fallen" twice in this house hunting process so far. We fell into this sort of blissful imagining of the future we would have in a particular house, but it was not to be. Mio Marito (I'm learning Italian, sort of) does not believe the adage that we should not get emotionally involved in our house hunting. I think what he means, which is true, is that you can not separate your emotions from the process, because if you do you may end up buying a place that is an awesome value for the neighborhood and that will re-sell very well, but that you just plain old don't dig the idea of living in and that is lame.

Other things that apply to both dating and house hunting:

When something just feels wrong, go with your gut and get out of there. One of the places we saw Wednesday had an immediate bad feeling about it. The step up to the house from the porch was huge--it just seemed off. And it was only down from there: burn marks in the middle of the living room floor, broken glass from the chandelier all over the dining room, and then we went upstairs where the place was riddled with offensive messages written or carved into doors and walls. One of the rooms had several holes in the walls as well. Sometimes you can go into a house and see beyond these cosmetic things, but here I could not. Bad things had happened here. Also, we didn't really love the layout. It was small and crampedish.

You will get your heart broken and learn that you have a heart, which is a good thing. The last place we saw Wednesday, we were already excited about before we got there. We'd driven through the neighborhood before and knew it was a good location and that the townhomes were nice and built in the eighties so they had better layouts (the seventies townhomes tend to be pretty dark and dank). The place was so spacious and bursting with potential like an absess with fluid. It had the largest kitchen area we had yet seen in our price range. The basement was huge with a high ceiling and very sunny. The master bedroom had three windows and a killer walk-in closet. Yes, we were enamored. It needed new flooring throughout, as someone had pulled some seriously doofus manuevers with the flooring, but we were ready to deal with that. The surrounding area was also nice and the place was begging for a real nice deck. What happened? Oh, it was under contract by the time we got home that night. I felt dumped, I really did. But maybe it was just a crush anyway. It might be true that I should avoid completely throwing myself into something in the future, but I should also remain open to possibility of loving again.

That's enough similarities for now. In other news, I've been trying to revive that freelance writing idea and am now moving forward and working on the portfolio. Il Marito and I are learning a little Italian for our trip that is still a good nine months away. I'm trying herbal remedies for annoyances that have plagued me and I am somewhat hopeful. Also, I have become a library-goer again. I gave it up for many years, but figured with the name change they probably wouldn't be tracking my previous activities.

Last but not least, some of my coworkers were taking me out to lunch this week in honor of my birthday (oh yeah, I turned the big 3-0 last Saturday), and one of my coworkers that had seen a picture of El Esposo/Il Marito described him as looking like a "Young Hugh Hefner." I found a picture and it is proudly displayed at the top of this entry. Don't get any ideas, mi amore.

15 July 2008

I Ain't Afraid to Love You

Without further ado, the results of the first songwriting challenge...

MJ's Version

Little Brother's Version

El Esposo's Version


And remember your vote really counts since there's only two of you!

11 July 2008

More bedazzlement to come


Are you dazzled by the new look on Rocktastica? Well, let me tell you about it. See, in preparation for the awesome new feature "Songwriting Challenge," I decided "we" needed a new look. Five points to anyone that can identify the rocker behind those crazy inverted colors courtesy of everyone's favorite graphic manipulating tool, Paint. What are the five points redeemable for? The nice smug feeling of victory.

So far, little brother has contributed his one-take garage band recording of "I Ain't Afraid to Love You." After I get past my personal technical recording difficulties, I will be able to present to my two readers the fruits of the first songwriting challenge. Stay tuned!

And hey, if you're a songwriter you can join the fun. Either wait until the next challenge is issued or write your own song with the title "I Ain't Afraid to Love You," record it in one-track-one-take fashion, and send it to me or rocktastica@gmail.com. You have until I have uploaded mine and el esposo's versions to do so (which means at least through the weekend as we have a weekend trip scheduled). I will save them all on my googlepages, present the links for everyone's enjoyment and the two readers can vote for the winner! But don't think of it as a contest so much as a golden opportunity to rise to the challenge. More challenges forthcoming . . .