married life

is pretty cool.

The drugs don't work; they just make you worse.

First of all, I am not working today and I am sooo excited. I think I've taken a total of maybe four days off all year just for long weekends and stuff but now starts my seven days in a row vacation. Of course by vacation, I do mean frantic preparations for my wedding for the next couple days. I should've been blogging about this whole wedding planning process but I've been too busy. It is a pain in the butt. I am a bargain shopper but it is nearly impossible to get a bargain when you are planning for a wedding. Also I have been disillusioned sooo many times. In my mind I had an idea of how much everything should cost. The only thing I was right about was the honeymoon to Florida which is actually a good deal. Everything else is about three times as expensive (for the low end) as I thought it was. I'll just give you an example: the going rate for good bakery wedding cakes with absolutely no frills is $4 a person in this area. If you are planning on over two-hundred guests, it starts to add up. Anyway, after some soul searching I have come to terms with most of that and learned much gratitude for my parents who are paying for A LOT of stuff.

In the meantime I noticed my vertigo has been coming back mostly at night as I toss and turn in bed with a little bit of left over in the morning and eventually disappearing through the day. Then I looked at my prescription bottle for the antihistamine drug I take only at night (so I don't fall asleep at work and stuff). The last side effect says "May Cause Dizziness." That's right. An anti-dizziness medication that might actually cause dizziness. The pharmacist said that doesn't make sense (only 2%, she said, experience this symptom). The nurse also said that doesn't make sense because it's supposed to cure dizziness. Um yeah; don't I know it. Anyway, there's still the possibility that there's no connection so the only thing I can do is not take the drug tonight and see what happens. I wanted to tell the nurse but I'm getting married! The reception is Friday! I don't want to try a little experiment; I just want to know!

In other evening-out-the-universe news, my car got towed last night. From the parking lot where I live (technically only Chris lives there now, but I did sign the lease and I do have a parking pass). My parking pass is a "guest" pass but all the guest spots were full and we were only going in for a little while so I parked in the regular lot which ALWAYS has open spaces. The little mercenaries charged me $150 and most of my dignity. (The "but I'm getting married!" phrase came to mind, but I know towing companies have no soul so I didn't even bother.) In the end, better me than one of our guests. Now we know--do NOT park in our lot when you come to visit us!!!

vertigo

uggh. i really can not look at this picture right now. i woke up in the middle of the night last night and this is truly how everything looked. one of my co-workers called it psychosomatic because i'm freaked out about the wedding. but actually this is the least freaked out i've been. i feel really pretty good about the wedding. except for some little details, all the crappity-crap that is not my forte is taken care of (as long as everyone and thing shows up that needs to). and i am really in love. i do, though, for reals have some vertigo. i was worried enough about falling over as i walked down the street to my office that i decided to work from home. i like to say it with an accent on the 'i' though. like the game stratego. ver-TI-go...

Human Amusements at Hourly Rates

Yesterday i was really bored at work and i typed ireallydontcare.com into my browser. It was amusing. In the meantime the wedding planning has turned a corner and it's not so awfully stressful now. Also, my future husband is moving into our new place today--right now, actually. I think I might run by after work to stock the place with essentials like two-ply toilet paper. There are some things you just have to splurge on.

Becoming a Mrs.

Yes I am getting married. My one-man-band days are over, as Belle and Sebastian say. I don't want to get too personal in this forum, but I will say the man I am marrying is more wonderful than I ever expected and I am happy to take this step and start our life together.


On the lighter side of things I have been thinking about becoming a "Mrs."--just the title. I am so completely comfortable with the title "Ms." It feels as right as the skin I wear. "Miss" has been uncomfortable for years. I still have the knee-jerk reaction that I must be in trouble. Unless it is in front of my first name. Then I just know I'm in the South. But "Ms." means I might actually mean business. I can be anybody I want if I'm a "Ms." In fact I thank Gloria Steinem et al for coming up with it. I'm not a hardcore feminist but I appreciate the simple utility.

"Mrs." though, just makes me think of baking cookies. Not that there's anything wrong with that--in fact I like baking cookies. And I'm fine with changing my last name though I may use both for a while to help people (like me) transition. But I've thought about what it's going to be like when I teach a night class next semester at the community college and I've been married for a month. Should I tell them to call me Mrs.? Does that immediately make me this mother figure in an apron instead of their Composition intructor? And does it turn them into little children? I think I might give a lot of blank stares while I'm getting used to these people that have never met me calling me by the only name they know for me. I'm sure I will eventually feel at home and maybe even powerful as a Mrs. but for starters I think I'll just feel happy for the reason I am a Mrs.--because I sure do want to marry him.

Rock * News

So I have almost a copy of my ep--sans drum tracks. It is being "shopped around" to drummers, which means I am trying to find someone I know who will record my drum tracks for free. Someone with really excellent rhythm. I've discovered recently that not everyone that plays the drums has really excellent rhythm and i need really excellent rhythm since . . . well . . . MY rhythm is not always excellent. There, I admitted it.

All the other parts are on there: rhythm guitar, vocals, backing vocals, lead guitar, sometimes more filler guitar, keyboards, bells, harmonica, etc. They just need to be mixed a little better. Another thing I have noticed for you novice recording engineers: The same song can sound completely different on a different stereo. So, though most of my songs seem pretty well-mixed on the "studio" speakers that is not the case elsewhere.

In fact, it is crazy all the stuff you have to do to make a recording sound good. Every one of the following makes a huge difference: the type of equipment, how/where it is miked, how well everything is tuned (duh), how much the level varies during the performance (less is more, I've learned), the settings for "tone," reverb, effects, etc. on the instrument and/or primary equipment like amps, the effects on the recording device including compression (this is to keep the volume or level from varying so much) and a whole myriad of other things that mess with the EQ, then the mixing of the tracks after they are recorded including overall volume, overall bass and treble and mid-range, and effects like echo or reverb or what-ever, then the mastering which is like the detail work of bringing sounds into the foreground and background and I don't even know what else.

I myself am such a novice at this but I feel like I am becoming less stupid, slowly but surely. I will be sooo excited when I am done and proud of the finished product.

Jareth

Last night I saw the movie Labyrinth on the "big screen." It was thrilling, for sure, though I don't have quite as much love for the show as most of the people who were in the theater. I feel like it's important to support your boyfriend in his obsessions. It had been a long time since I had seen the film and I was quite a bit younger then such that it had never registered to me just how tight david bowie's tights are in that movie. It's like his pants are a character unto themselves. But let's not dwell on that and instead talk about the acting chops of Mr. Bowie. Though this is clearly his definitive role, he also played some other memorable characters in recent memory. My favorite may be his portrayal of Andy Warhol in the film Basquiat.
He also played a key role in the recent movie "The Prestige." What is your favorite role of David Bowie's?

a paragraph

For someone that walks like a turtle, Mavis is pretty agile when you throw a sweaty sock at her. I did it once, just to wake her up. Mavis is truly a force, though, when she holds a bb-gun. I half expect her to be carrying one when she comes to the door. “Hey Mavis,” I’m shouting as I pound on her door. "Mavis, come open the door. I brought you clean socks."

I finally hear the icy roll of her wheels and the low bump-shuffle as she moves across the wood floor with her walker, cursing me under her breath for making her get up. I can picture the little rose circles she paints on her face to pass as a skin tone and her big pink glasses to match, but then i remember she hasn't had her hair done for months, and when her hair isn't done she can't be bothered with anything more taxing than flipping the channels from "The Price is Right" to "Highway to Heaven" re-runs to any other number of shows that are really viewed best while snoring and half one eye open.

google maps

What's the deal with UPS not being able to find my house? Like i don't have four other roommates that have ordered stuff plenty of times. Like we didn't affix nice bright new numbers to the mailbox. Like any doofus with a computer couldn't view a satellite picture of my house. Those little mischevious fates: discount footwear I ordered does not save me the trip to pick it up after all.

Meanwhile it's lovely when a little annoyance is the only thing standing in your way. I revel in the calm after the storm at work. The calm before the storm is heavy with dread. The calm after the storm is like happy-friday-everything's-gonna-be-alll-riiight time. It reminds me of a song some former cult member friends of mine used to sing:

This whole world is screwed up
And we got no place to go
But I know
It's gonna be all right

Cuz I got my blessed brothers
And I got my beautiful sisters
And everything's
Gonna be all right . . .

Is that even right? Maybe my old friend Buddy is stalking me on the internet and can let me know. That would be kind of delightful in a way.

Arizona, continued

Opportunities abound:

Including the opportunity to see my little brother grow a full moustache and then keep it thoughout the wedding so it would be pictured for the sake of posterity. And of course the chance to see him find a good girl and make a commitment. My sis-in-law is a pretty down-to-earth hip girl. Also, she agrees that an amusing photo opportunity serves as justification for many things. A good match.


These are my nieces, again, as photographed by my older brother, their uncle. They are growing up and will have a little sister in a couple months. It is a cool thing to see my middle brother's family grow and increase. It is also cool to see the photographer of this photo enjoy being an uncle.

We had the chance to view some completely different natural scenes to what we are used to seeing every day in the eastern US. LCD is a big fan of the desert so he was excellent at humoring me when I was trying to identify plants and learn new ones. This photo is from a hike in Sedona among the red rocks. It seems to me that living in Sedona must be like living in a post card. Or a vortex (see post below). It was beautiful indeed.

This may be the real winner as far as natural wonders go. This was from us hiking a mile or so down into the Grand Canyon. It is in-de-scrib-able and it can not be captured in 2-D. But I tried anyway. I thought the foreground rock wall contrasted with the background canyon might give some perspective. If you click on the photo to see the big version you can see the people coming down the switchback, which are my people: My parents, my brother and sweetiepieface raising both arms in exultation. Exultation was called for on this expedition.

Vortex et al

This is my little brother with his new wife as they experience the female energy of a vortex in the spiritual power center that is Sedona, Arizona. As we learned by eavesdropping on the guy giving a tour to one or two people, the female energy in this vortex makes it a place of healing (male vortexes are for strength). I'm not sure whether you can sense anything from just seeing the photo, but according to the guy, your experience in the vortex is determined by how open your heart and mind are.

My batteries were dead on the actual wedding day. My recent trip also afforded all other kinds of great opportunities:

Like this time when my youngest niece began foaming at the mouth after an overfed rabid grand canyon squirrel had been gnawing on her leg.

more to come . . .

the fire

i pretty much don't have a blog.

anyway, i went to a rock show last friday. some of my friends and i had gotten tickets the day they went on sale like pre-teens for sanjaya or something. (i seriously do NOT know my teen pop stars. just last night i was talking about a song by christina aguilera that lcd told me was actually beyonce.) the show sold out in maybe like an hour. this was back in march. flash forward to may 4 and lcd and myself are strolling into dar constitution hall for the ar-cade fi-re. this was my third experience with the arcade fire and it was grand. it's the sort of band you would really like to be in if you're going to be in a band. you get to shout stuff and bang on things and play every instrument. speaking of which i have a girl crush on regine. she can play EVERYTHING. and her harmony vocals are out of this world sometimes. she makes me want to be a soprano.

anyway i recently got eager about recording again. lcd and i wrote bass and keyboard parts for "picture" and "rosa" and we tried out a few different bass parts for "david brown" and just couldn't get satisfied. i'd like to finish "rosa" in time to give a completed copy to my brother when we go out for his wedding. i need a stellar volunteer drummer. i can dream. and i can live the dream. just you wait.

Hope, Joy and Peace on the web

I thought you might like to know the results of my internet search on the .com versions of Hope, Joy and Peace.

Hope: Lame, lame search engine where all non-crude junk mail goes to die
Joy: Mining machinery
Peace: Interactive computer systems for utilities (like gas, electric) consumers

I was bewildered, but it's my own fault since I used .com

In other news I am wearing a bright orange sweater today, of which my Grandmother would be proud. I am forcing spring.

Your kindness is a terrible burden to me

I was just reading on sj's blog about opening doors for people and I was thinking--Have you ever held a door open for somebody and they speed up sooo fast they are bascially running? It's as if to say, "Please do not deign to show me your courtesy. Fie fie on your courtesy." Of course one shouldn't go extra slow but people p-lease. It's just a door I'm holding--It's not that heavy. I have been a fast walker in the past and I get the idea. You THINK you're showing appreciation. I've decided though, that what you are showing is a la the blog title.

My ep

Slowly but surely i am recording an ep. My dear lovely boyfriend is helping me every step of the way. He is a patient man. You see, i don't practice enough.

Those who care to know-- this is the tracklist, not necessarily in this order

Picture
The Weight
Rosa (by the Curators--i.e. written by me AND my brother)
David Brown
Zen and the art of software maintenance*

I also might might include my latest one: Got you where I want*

*actual recording has not started on these tracks

I'm excited. We were working on "The Weight" tonite. I confess I might be fondest of that one currently. It's about Ken Lay and some other things.

OK that's all I'm going to say. I mostly wanted to move the political post down the page because I weary of politics.

I also weary of capitalization rules, i guess. I edit all the livelong day and just am not feelin it right now.

Minimum Wage! Eeyaaahh

This is what I wrote as my commentary on the Minimum Wage petition on Harry Reid's site. It's not brilliant or anything, but it is true:

I am a young single professional and though I have not worked for minimum wage in about ten years, I did try and support myself on a very small adjunct professor salary when I got out of graduate school. Finding it utterly impossible and watching myself sink further into debt, I gave up teaching, and found a much better paying job as a government contractor. I had no children to raise but I still could not pay my rent or buy enough food to eat to be healthy. It is inhumane that anyone should not be paid a living wage in this country of great excess. Children whose parents work at minimum wage jobs are at an extreme disadvantage. The minimum wage needs to be raised in order to reduce crime, poverty and hunger and put children on a more equal footing to maintain our peaceful and productive society.

Latest ROCK song

I wrote these song lyrix a little bit ago, but thanks to president number 38 i now have some free time today to post them. It's a pop song, which is probably called "Got you where I want" or some variation on that.

I got you where I want--
right next to me
But then where else
would you want to be?
I don't ask for much,
just some infinite love
in a needle point.

Give me a sweet expression
that shows how you feel
so I can see your heart
is beating for real.
Then when you get stuck
in one of your funks,
I can wait it out.

(Chorus)
I know how it is
Baby I know just how it is
but even so
I still ask for everything
you've got

I know I've got
a lot of nerve
to set out
my demands
How about a million dollars
in unmarked bills
Or just a wink from you?

Got you where I want
(this time I'm for real):
On a skyscraper
on top of a hill.
We're a couple base jumpers
with never-before-
tested parachutes.

(Either Repeat Chorus or the following alternate Chorus?)
But we know how it is
Baby we know just how it is
But even so
It's going to take everything
we've got

You know how it is
Baby you know just how it is
So then why
you wanna take everything?
???
----------------------------------------
I'm playing with the choruses and am undecided on them.

Aperture

So anyway, I was in the Tennessee Mountain Home for Christmas. The big news is that my brother and sister-in-law are having another kid. The two they have already are pretty darn cute.

Sarah is obsessed with all things princess (she's almost three) but her mother has made her memorize the age she must be to get married: 22. Megan is the cutest smiliest kid ever who toddles around and gives kisses. She gave me the cold I have currently. It was a good time to be with the fam and chill.

Stuff that happened over the week:
Family slide show
Dollywood:
--the Smoky Mountain Christmas Production
--Grandma's motorized wheelchair
--Sarah c-racking up about the existence of such a thing as a DOG-wood tree
Little brother made us Peppermint Milkshakes
Festival of presents
Hot tub
Hiking in the snow
Hiking in the not-snow to the classic waterfall.
Roadtrip to pick up lil bro's girlfriend in Nashville.
Guitar concert
Bar-B-Q
Walks with the dog
Tennessee-style Christmas light displays
Going to the movies
Watching videos and episodes of the Office and Seinfeld
Games! Settlers, Pictionary, Imaginiff (ha--the fam did not enjoy this one)
Eating the yummy bread my boyfriend and I made before I left.
Missing him
Playing with the kids

2006 was a great year--and several big things I predicted happened: I fell in love, I got more and more out of debt and I got a new job. One thing that did not happen was my band did not record. In fact, we split up due to regional differences. But we wrote a few good tunes all the same. Also, I did not run a half-marathon. I predict this year that I will complete recording enough songs for an EP, that I will go on an extended backpacking trip, and one more thing that I do not care to put on this blog.