27 September 2007

Becoming a Mrs.

Yes I am getting married. My one-man-band days are over, as Belle and Sebastian say. I don't want to get too personal in this forum, but I will say the man I am marrying is more wonderful than I ever expected and I am happy to take this step and start our life together.


On the lighter side of things I have been thinking about becoming a "Mrs."--just the title. I am so completely comfortable with the title "Ms." It feels as right as the skin I wear. "Miss" has been uncomfortable for years. I still have the knee-jerk reaction that I must be in trouble. Unless it is in front of my first name. Then I just know I'm in the South. But "Ms." means I might actually mean business. I can be anybody I want if I'm a "Ms." In fact I thank Gloria Steinem et al for coming up with it. I'm not a hardcore feminist but I appreciate the simple utility.

"Mrs." though, just makes me think of baking cookies. Not that there's anything wrong with that--in fact I like baking cookies. And I'm fine with changing my last name though I may use both for a while to help people (like me) transition. But I've thought about what it's going to be like when I teach a night class next semester at the community college and I've been married for a month. Should I tell them to call me Mrs.? Does that immediately make me this mother figure in an apron instead of their Composition intructor? And does it turn them into little children? I think I might give a lot of blank stares while I'm getting used to these people that have never met me calling me by the only name they know for me. I'm sure I will eventually feel at home and maybe even powerful as a Mrs. but for starters I think I'll just feel happy for the reason I am a Mrs.--because I sure do want to marry him.

2 comments:

Steve said...

Holy Scheisse!!!! I don't read your blog for a month and this is what happens?!??!

Congratulations. There must be something in the air, haha. At least now we could meet for lunch under the tree in McPherson Square now and it wouldn't be scandalous, haha.

I'm still getting used to the word "wife", but it's getting easier. She uses my last name informally, ie everywhere but work, but is officially still her original name.

Unknown said...

COngratulations, and ya, I understand the whole I'm not a femi-crazy, but Ms. makes sense thing. My roomates going through a divorce right now and still can't let go of Mrs. and her married last name, though. I guess the bright side is we can always choose our own or change names if we got a lame one.