24 March 2011

Update on "The Brick Fairy"/Emily

Remember when I wrote about Little A's first friend? If not, you should probably check it out here.

Anyway, since those heartwarming moments we have had lots of interactions with the girl, whose name I still do not know. LCD and I asked her to spell it one time with our pathetic rudimentary sign language, but we couldn't figure out what she was spelling and eventually gave up. I recently decided that she seems like an Emily, so I guess that should be her code name. Especially since she has not delivered any bricks to us in ages.

So . . . "Emily" is still Little A's biggest fan in the neighborhood (maybe--the next door neighbors do kind of adore her) and she gets very excited every time she sees us outside. Lately, that is pretty darn often. I never see "Emily" interacting in positive ways with anyone else so I figure her time with Little A is a good thing. I try not to quash it; I really do.

Except sometimes it's unsafe. Little A is all about playing on the playground now, but she is only 15 months old so she needs mucho supervision. "Emily" tends to be all over Little A and often gets between us and I get really anxious and oh yeah sometimes I have to dart in and keep Little A from falling 2-3 baby lengths onto the ground (yikes). And I don't let "Emily" take Little A down the big slide on her lap. I feel somewhat bad about this because I would trust one of our next door neighbors' kids to take Little A down the slide and they are probably a little younger than "Emily," but I still just don't know what she's capable of.

Also, I hate to say this, but sometimes it's plain old annoying. I know; I am a terrible person. But Little A is really into doing things on her own and so I let her when it is practical. "Emily," on the other hand, is all up in Little A's face and grabbing at her all the time. She wants to touch her hands, her face, to hug her, pick her up, etc. I really just want to say "Dude, just give her some space," but she can't hear. And she might not get it anyway. I end up trying to gesture to her to not touch Little A. Maybe that's mean of me.

It's an interesting playground dilemma and I hope we get past this awkward hurdle and Little A's relationship with "Emily" ends up being a positive one for everyone. I want Little A to grow up with compassion, but it would be so much less stressful if I didn't have to worry about my wobbly toddler getting knocked down, manhandled, and even just bugged by the well-meaning special needs adolescent.

On the one hand, this is such a small thing and just one little part of my life. On the other hand, I feel like how I handle this is evidence of what kind of person I am. Am I easily exasperated? (Yes) Am I tolerant? (Sort of) Do I have love for those that are not easy to love? (I try) I know my attitude will one day become my daughter's attitude so it feels important. Hope I don't screw it up.

5 comments:

Amanda said...

You seem to be handling everything the same why I would be, so I don't know what that says about me. But it seems to be right. You give a little bit of space but are there for safety reason. I'd find it very frustrating too. Personally, I'd try and find out who her parents are and ask them simple communication tricks that might work with her. Tell them you really appreciate the interaction she has with your little one and hope it can continue.

Steve said...

I was thinking about this over the weekend, yeah, who knows why!?! Anyways, I think you should just ask the parents on how you can communicate with the girl better to explain that your tiny baby can't do some things or that she doesn't 'want' to. It'll make you look like you are trying to communicate with their daughter and not be rude, but also ok with them hanging out, which is probably the highlight of this girl's day. Good luck!

Melissa said...

You guys are both right but I have never seen her parents and I don't even know which house she lives in. However, my next door neighbors are very informed on neighborhood gossip so maybe they know. Would it be weird to go knock on their door?

Melissa said...

Melissa = mj. So much for anonymity.

Steve said...

No, it'd be totally normal, that is what makes a neighborhood a neighborhood!

No worries, I think evryone that reds this knows MJ isn't your given name. :)

BTW, I've been doing a lot of family history lately and I found a couple lines hanging for a long time in New Jersey, oh the shame! haha