I heard this being shouted to the general populace around noon today:
"The things they teach you
You are a Pinnochio puppet
You are a puppet with a ventriloquist
Everything THEY say
Comes through YOU
And THAT worries ME"
I thought it was pretty good.
11 April 2009
This blog is on hold
Like that's new, right? This oh-so-active blog will be taking a two week hiatus while I am out of the country.
08 April 2009
How did I get here? (part A)
Sometimes I have a Talking Heads moment. You know "This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful [husband]" etc. Not that I'm living some kind of pool-side charmed life, but sometimes it seems like just yesterday I was starting my first part-time job at KFC. So anyway I feel like tracing all the jobs I have held in my life in the hopes of establishing a pattern. My guess is the pattern will spell F-E-A-R O-F C-O-M-M-I-T-M-E-N-T.
1) KFC - age 16 summer through early fall until my Dad told me I needed to quit to concentrate on my "studies." Maybe he thought I was going on to become a neuro-physicist (does that exist?)
2) Pizza Hut - age 17 near the end of Senior Year, I think through the summer before college. I was actually quite bad at this job. I was a Pizza Hut waitress, but usually everyone just got the buffet.
3) Boston Market - about the same time as Pizza Hut. Yes, my food service career continues, but Boston Market felt like a step up. Not so greasy and less creeps working there.
4) McDonald's - I honestly got this job just to feel well-rounded in fast food. I got this my freshman year of college and quit two weeks later. (p.s., there is a pattern coming--it's called freshman year).
5) Telemarketing job #1 - I can't remember the name of the company b/c I held this job for about a week. I really wanted some extra money freshman year, but I just couldn't get myself to keep any of these jobs, b/c - let's face it - they sucked (and I was too busy having fun and getting crappy grades I would have to make up for later). I remember calling a few people and hearing some sad stories about how they just lost their job, their mom died, they were paying off an operation b/c they didn't have health insurance and numerous other good reasons for leaving them alone. I basically agreed that I should leave them alone and quit.
6) Enzo's Pizza - this might have happened at an earlier or later time, I can't remember, but it was when I lived at home with my parents so probably during the summer. I got the job and was fired a couple days later b/c oh yeah I'm not old enough to serve alcohol.
7) Data Entry Job - at home, very early summer after Freshman year (actually I'm sure it was still spring). I had this job for a week and got fired b/c I actually suck at data entry. I really, really suck at it. I remember crying all the way home. It is to this day the only time I have been fired for pure incompetence and the last time I was fired at all.
8) Chester Diner - Waitress. Also summer freshman year. This job was all right and I was all right at it, but it was really hard sometimes. I would work til 2 am sometimes and there was always all this bustling around, barking voices, intense looks from managers and the need to smile at the customers always. Once someone told me I looked like I'd been raised on a farm. Most of the waitresses there were world-weary single moms with two jobs, trying to get by. I was instead a college student home for the summer. So yes there was a difference.
9) Lab Technician - I got this job solely b/c my dad worked for the company. (that's right--privilege of the upper middle class). Also I had been thinking about majoring in microbiology b/c I really liked my freshman biology class. This lasted from June through August, summer of 97 after Freshman Year. Because this was a good solid full-time job that paid very well compared to what I was used to, I eventually quit the waitress job (for a while I did both). This is easily the most mind-numbing job I have ever had. But it was good money. I took this same job in summer 98, but i felt a little guilty b/c during my sophomore year I dropped out of microbiology and became an English major (shh: all the English major "internships" don't pay anything).
10) Dishwasher - I don't remember having any job experiences during sophomore year. I was lucky enough to have earned enough at my death-to-personality lab tech job to pay tuition (BYU is cheap and my parents paid for room and board). However early in my junior year Fall 98, I started getting that I'm going to need some money itch again and signed up to be a dishwasher. Another job I quit within the week. Seriously, $5/hour to wear an apron and stand all day and wash dishes full of gross fatty college food. I mean KFC was way better than that. Why I kept taking these jobs I would inevitably quit is probably based on some deep psychological need. Or pure stupidity of someone whose brain is not yet fully developed.
11) Assisted Living (fake) CNA - This job I kept for about a year. Yes, job #11 was the one that finally ended the pattern of starting and quitting on a whim. It was hard, but I liked it. I really liked the old people. I really liked being trusted with the responsibility to care for them. I really liked the homey atmosphere (there were about ten residents). There was plenty of gross stuff to deal with--three words: Exploding Colostomy Bag. But it was the first job where I felt like I was really doing something useful. I liked it so much more. This brings us to age twenty and a good stopping point.
1) KFC - age 16 summer through early fall until my Dad told me I needed to quit to concentrate on my "studies." Maybe he thought I was going on to become a neuro-physicist (does that exist?)
2) Pizza Hut - age 17 near the end of Senior Year, I think through the summer before college. I was actually quite bad at this job. I was a Pizza Hut waitress, but usually everyone just got the buffet.
3) Boston Market - about the same time as Pizza Hut. Yes, my food service career continues, but Boston Market felt like a step up. Not so greasy and less creeps working there.
4) McDonald's - I honestly got this job just to feel well-rounded in fast food. I got this my freshman year of college and quit two weeks later. (p.s., there is a pattern coming--it's called freshman year).
5) Telemarketing job #1 - I can't remember the name of the company b/c I held this job for about a week. I really wanted some extra money freshman year, but I just couldn't get myself to keep any of these jobs, b/c - let's face it - they sucked (and I was too busy having fun and getting crappy grades I would have to make up for later). I remember calling a few people and hearing some sad stories about how they just lost their job, their mom died, they were paying off an operation b/c they didn't have health insurance and numerous other good reasons for leaving them alone. I basically agreed that I should leave them alone and quit.
6) Enzo's Pizza - this might have happened at an earlier or later time, I can't remember, but it was when I lived at home with my parents so probably during the summer. I got the job and was fired a couple days later b/c oh yeah I'm not old enough to serve alcohol.
7) Data Entry Job - at home, very early summer after Freshman year (actually I'm sure it was still spring). I had this job for a week and got fired b/c I actually suck at data entry. I really, really suck at it. I remember crying all the way home. It is to this day the only time I have been fired for pure incompetence and the last time I was fired at all.
8) Chester Diner - Waitress. Also summer freshman year. This job was all right and I was all right at it, but it was really hard sometimes. I would work til 2 am sometimes and there was always all this bustling around, barking voices, intense looks from managers and the need to smile at the customers always. Once someone told me I looked like I'd been raised on a farm. Most of the waitresses there were world-weary single moms with two jobs, trying to get by. I was instead a college student home for the summer. So yes there was a difference.
9) Lab Technician - I got this job solely b/c my dad worked for the company. (that's right--privilege of the upper middle class). Also I had been thinking about majoring in microbiology b/c I really liked my freshman biology class. This lasted from June through August, summer of 97 after Freshman Year. Because this was a good solid full-time job that paid very well compared to what I was used to, I eventually quit the waitress job (for a while I did both). This is easily the most mind-numbing job I have ever had. But it was good money. I took this same job in summer 98, but i felt a little guilty b/c during my sophomore year I dropped out of microbiology and became an English major (shh: all the English major "internships" don't pay anything).
10) Dishwasher - I don't remember having any job experiences during sophomore year. I was lucky enough to have earned enough at my death-to-personality lab tech job to pay tuition (BYU is cheap and my parents paid for room and board). However early in my junior year Fall 98, I started getting that I'm going to need some money itch again and signed up to be a dishwasher. Another job I quit within the week. Seriously, $5/hour to wear an apron and stand all day and wash dishes full of gross fatty college food. I mean KFC was way better than that. Why I kept taking these jobs I would inevitably quit is probably based on some deep psychological need. Or pure stupidity of someone whose brain is not yet fully developed.
11) Assisted Living (fake) CNA - This job I kept for about a year. Yes, job #11 was the one that finally ended the pattern of starting and quitting on a whim. It was hard, but I liked it. I really liked the old people. I really liked being trusted with the responsibility to care for them. I really liked the homey atmosphere (there were about ten residents). There was plenty of gross stuff to deal with--three words: Exploding Colostomy Bag. But it was the first job where I felt like I was really doing something useful. I liked it so much more. This brings us to age twenty and a good stopping point.
03 April 2009
tryptophan
Somebody brought in a fried turkey to work. So nice of them. I just finished eating my portion about ten minutes ago
I'm already feeling tired lately so tired + durgs, I mean drugs, even if naturally occuring = me passed out and slobbering on the keyboard in a few more minutes . . .
I'm already feeling tired lately so tired + durgs, I mean drugs, even if naturally occuring = me passed out and slobbering on the keyboard in a few more minutes . . .
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