Stonerstan!

Big Sis made up a word.

What does it mean?

"You say it when you fall down on your bum."

Then she demonstrates by running, taking a "fall," and shouting, "stonerstan!"

Every time she says it I picture somebody like this Simpson's character:

(This is Disco Stu. Even though the bus driver, Otto, is clearly a stoner, this guy seems like more of a "Stan" to me.)

Anyway, I just googled "Stoner Stan" and it turns out there's a meme for that. Ugh, there's a meme for everything.

Sometimes I hate the internet.

Thankful 2012

For my family (local and extended)

For my home

For my love (almost five years what?)

For my foremothers (both specifically and generally)

For grace and tender mercies

For a new baby and his five new cousins in the same year! (Hang in there til December, girls.)

For sweet hugs and hands and I-love-yous

For muddling through

For friends

For love stories

For courage

For examples

Election Reminiscing

1980: I was two.

1984: I think I knew the name of the President.

1988: Some people already know this--I may have even blogged about it --but when I was in fifth grade I played Michael Dukakis in our elementary school's mock election. This was when we lived in the Houston, TX area. Even I did not vote for myself. I think Dukakis got like two votes in my school. Surprisingly, I did not take this personally at all. I remember asking my dad to help me write the speech since I just did not understand how a person could be a Democrat. As far as I knew then, a Democrat = someone that wants babies to die. I ended up being proud of myself that I was able to deliver a pretty decent speech even though I could never be a Democrat. I was relieved when I learned George Bush won in the REAL election too.

1992: I lived in Kansas and was once again surrounded by Republicans. At that point I did have more of an understanding of what the parties actually represented, but I was still pretty in favor of George Bush, Sr. Based on the nightly news I was pretty sure we rocked that Iraq war in 91, so . . . I remember watching Saturday Night Live that year and when they covered the primaries they called it something like "The race to avoid being the one that loses to Bush." The tide turned pretty quickly. I remember the very few "Democrat" kids in our high school that came in wearing Clinton shirts the morning after and I felt so humiliated and somehow wronged.

1996: The first time I voted and I had only been eligible for a few months! Sometime in between 1992 and 1996, I had become not really all that Republican, despite that everyone else in my family was. But I did very much believe in having a moral president who doesn't cheat on his wife. So I gritted my teeth and voted Bob DULL. Then when Clinton won, I realized I was not that disappointed. After all, he gave great SOTU speeches. Also, he felt my pain. AND He and Newt and the gang balanced the dang budget!!!

2000: This was my protest vote year. Looking back I don't really like Ralph Nader that much. He comes across as kind of a jerk, to be honest. But, I was just starting graduate school, and I was disillusioned by all the stuff I had been fed through my schooling career and had become pretty jaded. All the glorious ideals of democracy and really it's all about money. I didn't want to support either major party since I felt they catered to whoever paid them. So I went Green party. I was quite sure that my state was already won by the guy I liked the least, so I went to try and get the 5% of the vote required for matching funds for the party. I still like the idea of the Greens, but I think we're stuck in this two-party system for now. Maybe doing away with the electoral college would break the fever, but I don't know. After the election happened I was absolutely glued to the TV watching the coverage of the hanging chads and such. And it was then that I realized I much preferred Gore and my vote would have been a serious waste in a battleground state. Later when all the Gore supporters were super angry with the Green party voters, I did feel a little remorse but thanks to the electoral college my vote didn't actually count so . . . okay mostly I just kept my mouth shut. You guys aren't still mad are you?

2004: This is the most gung-ho of all my years as a voter for the presidency. Not that I loved John Kerry that much, but I felt like George W. Bush was tanking the country. It felt like we used to stand for something and people used to like us, but now it was all about wasting loads of money on unnecessary war. Anyway, I don't want this retelling to get that political, just be more experiential. The day after the election I had a job interview. I don't remember what for but it was in Georgetown and I think at a non-profit of some kind. I parked my car and stumbled out as though I were walking in a fog. A thick malaise covered that interview and neither of our hearts were in it. I left knowing I did not land that one, and not really caring. I felt this knot in my stomach all day and when I heard the concession speech as I was driving around (aimlessly?) I just bawled in my car. I remember feeling so much better when I found this website where people that had voted for Kerry were sending the message "I'm Sorry. We tried," to the world.

2005: Just had to note that this was the first time I remember someone I voted for winning. It was Tim Kaine for governor of Virginia. I still like that guy.

2008: I really didn't want Obama to run. I felt like it was too soon in his career. But I did quite like the guy, or rather his speechwriters. They rock. Anyway, though I had suspected it before, I have to admit that I was an unaffiliated Democrat at this point. I remember waiting at the poll before work, just chatting with all the people in my neighborhood. I was newly married but no kids, and I really enjoyed the excitement in the air and the comraderie I felt with my community. That night we were glued to the TV (for pretty much the first time since 2000 for me) and I was really excited, happy, and proud of my country once the results came in. Finally everyone gets that "there is not a liberal America and a conservative America -- there is the United States of America." Or so I thought.

2012: Okay I will get a little political. The last four years have been disappointing. I am suspicious of some of the President's decisions, but I am especially disillusioned by his failure to reach across the aisle. But, after weighing everything a million times, I just agree with his ideas more. And I hope [[[HOPE]]]] that he has much more to do and now will go do it. Tuesday I went to the polls with my two little kids and that will be the image that sticks with me this time. Filling in those dang holes on the sheet of paper while simultaneously bouncing the infant to stop him from crying and keeping one hand on the almost-three-year-old to stop her from playing hide-and-seek in the voting booths (and oh yes that's exactly what she wanted to do).

I just re-listened to then Senate-hopeful Barack Obama's speech in 2004. I think some of the hopefulness has been derailed by the economic recession, but I don't maybe there's still something to it. Maybe?

If there is a child on the south side of Chicago who can’t read, that matters to me, even if it’s not my child. If there is a senior citizen somewhere who can’t pay for their prescription drugs, and having to choose between medicine and the rent, that makes my life poorer, even if it’s not my grandparent. If there’s an Arab American family being rounded up without benefit of an attorney or due process, that threatens my civil liberties.

It is that fundamental belief -- It is that fundamental belief: I am my brother’s keeper. I am my sister’s keeper that makes this country work. It’s what allows us to pursue our individual dreams and yet still come together as one American family.

E pluribus unum: "Out of many, one."