READ THE POST BELOW THIS FIRST
So I failed to mention the inauspicious circumstances of our official meeting, which included someone introducing us at a party and saying to me, basically, "this is the guy we've been telling you about," and then us having a three minute conversation.
To continue the story . . .
So I got over my crush, moved on with my life, tried to make a living (a whole other story but the synopsis is I had a really hard time paying the bills for my first year and a half in DC), and started to regenerate my sense of self. One thing I did was go on a super-rejuvenating backpack trip to the Presidential Range of the White Mountains in NH. It was one of the more beautiful things I have ever seen--we timed it perfectly to catch the fall colors. Another thing I did was start volunteering at the Food Assistance Center. At the time I was only a paycheck removed from the people that came there. It made me really humble, but really grateful at the same time. I also made an effort to focus on my personal spiritual development (aka: get right with God). Even though I was barely scraping by I started to feel more like myself than I had in a long time.
Next, the roommate that was dating LCD moved out and I also moved somewhere else, which was a welcome change from the dank basement life I had been enjoying.
Next, I met a really intersting and cool guy who I am still a big fan of, and he asked me on some dates. Our relationship was one of those amorphous things. It was hard to tell on a given day if we were actually dating, but it was always obvious that we really liked each other. Anyway, he kept me very entertained for the next five or six months. I even flirted with the idea that he might be the one, but guess what? He wasn't. Still it was really fun sometimes to pretend and to live in this bizarro world where everything is ironic and weirdness is the goal and being standoffish is a kind of affection. One thing that I learned from this was that standoffishness is not REALLY a kind of affection. Anyway, later he called me his ex-girlfriend, so I guess that's what I was. I was pretty disappointed that it didn't work out, but I think the reason I took it hard was because the timing of our dating conincided so nicely with the time I started feeling good about myself and so I wanted it to mean something. It was a version of love but not the real kind. He's an awesome guy and still one of the most intersting people I know, we just weren't an awesome couple.
Fast forward to me getting a real job, putting money in the bank, having lots of fun, and eventually forming a super-fun band with my little brother. Writing songs with my little bro is one of the choice experiences of my life. As he lives in AZ now, I mourn those days sometimes. In the meantime, LCD was always in the background. He stopped dating my former roommate but ended up dating other people. I had wiped nearly every trace of romantic leanings re: him from my mind. I would always see him at little music open mic things we both played at or other parties. Every once in a while when my house had a party I would make sure his name was on the list and he would always come. What's more he would always bring something. I developed a strong opinion of him--that he was a trustworthy and dependable person. He was high on my list of people most of the time, but sometimes he was scarce and we were not really intimate in any way. We did not hang out.
Sometimes I asked LCD for favors. Like when my little band wanted to play a little show I asked him to do the sound. He was always willing. Slowly I was realizing that he was not some hipster rockstar, but he was just a truly decent human being--and even kind of nerdy. Case in point: I invited him to come play board games over at my house one time and he showed up. My roommate had doubted it because he seemed too cool, but I guaranteed her he would come.
Sometimes people would ask me if I had ever thought of dating him and I would say yes I thought about it before, but I didn't think it would work out.
Then one day, oh about 2 1/2 years after we met, I was talking to my little brother and he asked me, "Why don't we ever hang out with LCD? I feel I should be good friends with him but we never hang out." I told him I wasn't sure that LCD was actually into the stuff we were into--going to shows, wilderness hiking, etc. But my brother had planted a seed.
END PART TWO
21 February 2008
19 February 2008
How my husband became my husband (Part One)
So, I stole this idea from a certain blogger, whose hilarious blogging I have admired for these past couple of years. I suppose this is going to be pretty confessional or something, but the thing is it's a really great story, better than most other stories I could think of to tell.
I actually remember when I first saw my husband from a distance. End of this May or early June will be five years since that moment. I had just moved to the DC area for a summer internship (not at all related to politics) from grad school and Colorado. This was right after giving most of my heart and soul to a master's thesis for the previous many months. I had also recently fell in with a group of hippies in the months before I left Colorado and had accidentally had a number of really weird experiences such that I was very very unsettled in my life. Anyway, I had hoped the escape to the nation's capital would provide for some normalcy and eventually it did--but it took a while. I moved into an apartment for the summer and the first time I saw LCD was in the lobby of that apartment building on my way to the store for some groceries. He was leading a group of some kind and standing on a chair to give them instructions. It was for a singles church activity that I had heard about but not planned on attending because I had a list of things to do. There he was, wearing a hipsterish straw cowboy-style hat and grinning with those pretty snaggly choppers. The sight of him made me smile and I watched for a few extra seconds before going on my way. I thought he was pretty cute.
In the meantime I was hearing about him from everyone that stopped by our apartment and saw my guitar. Everyone asked me if I had met this guy yet who also played the guitar. They said he was really good. Since I didn't really know these people I wasn't sure whether to trust their opinions and I did not realize they were talking about the same guy I had seen standing in the lobby of my apartment building, so I was only mildly interested.
When we met I found him to be one of the most amiable people you can have a first conversation with. He was and I'm sure will always be really easy to like. So I liked him, but I only really started to be interested in him when I saw him play. I have many times in my life heard people talk about how great some musician they know is only to hear them and think "yeah he/she's okay" . . . As it turns out, the rumors were true. Not only that but he played Jeff Buckley, which was almost too overwhelming for me. I had specifically taught guys I knew to play Jeff Buckley in Colorado, and this guy did a better Jeff Buckley than any of them by far.
Honestly, it freaked me out. I knew I had been through too much weird stuff recently and I was pretty depressed at the time so a big part of me did not want to develop a big crush on some guy that had all the outward appearance of being someone I would be really into. The timing sucked too much. I remember telling my friend from Colorado on the phone that I met this really seemingly awesome guy and it was a hopeless situation but I did not know if I would be able to keep myself from being really into him.
So I decided we would just be friends. I even went so far as to send him an email asking if he would be my friend. Yes it's true. Not very tactful, but true. I figured I would set it up from the beginning as us being just friends and that would a) make me happy to have such a nice hip guy as my friend when everyone around me seemed so frustratingly type A and b) keep my little wounded heart safe.
We became friends which was great, and my crush got a little more serious which seemed unfortunate but I figured it wasn't really hurting anybody. Then...oops...it started to hurt. You see my hip, new friend started dating my hip, new roommate. That's when I realized that the crush had really gotten away with me because it hurt like the dickens.
Later I was so grateful for this because it allowed me to get over my crush fast and decide he wasn't the guy for me. I decided I had been looking for the wrong thing--an image, an idea--when really I just needed a nice guy. This in turn gave us both the time we needed to develop a little more self confidence and become...well...happier. Because guess what? A relationship is a lot more likely to succeed if you are already happy.
End Part One
I actually remember when I first saw my husband from a distance. End of this May or early June will be five years since that moment. I had just moved to the DC area for a summer internship (not at all related to politics) from grad school and Colorado. This was right after giving most of my heart and soul to a master's thesis for the previous many months. I had also recently fell in with a group of hippies in the months before I left Colorado and had accidentally had a number of really weird experiences such that I was very very unsettled in my life. Anyway, I had hoped the escape to the nation's capital would provide for some normalcy and eventually it did--but it took a while. I moved into an apartment for the summer and the first time I saw LCD was in the lobby of that apartment building on my way to the store for some groceries. He was leading a group of some kind and standing on a chair to give them instructions. It was for a singles church activity that I had heard about but not planned on attending because I had a list of things to do. There he was, wearing a hipsterish straw cowboy-style hat and grinning with those pretty snaggly choppers. The sight of him made me smile and I watched for a few extra seconds before going on my way. I thought he was pretty cute.
In the meantime I was hearing about him from everyone that stopped by our apartment and saw my guitar. Everyone asked me if I had met this guy yet who also played the guitar. They said he was really good. Since I didn't really know these people I wasn't sure whether to trust their opinions and I did not realize they were talking about the same guy I had seen standing in the lobby of my apartment building, so I was only mildly interested.
When we met I found him to be one of the most amiable people you can have a first conversation with. He was and I'm sure will always be really easy to like. So I liked him, but I only really started to be interested in him when I saw him play. I have many times in my life heard people talk about how great some musician they know is only to hear them and think "yeah he/she's okay" . . . As it turns out, the rumors were true. Not only that but he played Jeff Buckley, which was almost too overwhelming for me. I had specifically taught guys I knew to play Jeff Buckley in Colorado, and this guy did a better Jeff Buckley than any of them by far.
Honestly, it freaked me out. I knew I had been through too much weird stuff recently and I was pretty depressed at the time so a big part of me did not want to develop a big crush on some guy that had all the outward appearance of being someone I would be really into. The timing sucked too much. I remember telling my friend from Colorado on the phone that I met this really seemingly awesome guy and it was a hopeless situation but I did not know if I would be able to keep myself from being really into him.
So I decided we would just be friends. I even went so far as to send him an email asking if he would be my friend. Yes it's true. Not very tactful, but true. I figured I would set it up from the beginning as us being just friends and that would a) make me happy to have such a nice hip guy as my friend when everyone around me seemed so frustratingly type A and b) keep my little wounded heart safe.
We became friends which was great, and my crush got a little more serious which seemed unfortunate but I figured it wasn't really hurting anybody. Then...oops...it started to hurt. You see my hip, new friend started dating my hip, new roommate. That's when I realized that the crush had really gotten away with me because it hurt like the dickens.
Later I was so grateful for this because it allowed me to get over my crush fast and decide he wasn't the guy for me. I decided I had been looking for the wrong thing--an image, an idea--when really I just needed a nice guy. This in turn gave us both the time we needed to develop a little more self confidence and become...well...happier. Because guess what? A relationship is a lot more likely to succeed if you are already happy.
End Part One
13 February 2008
Vote EARLY, vote often, but mostly EARLY
I learned a little lesson yesterday. The specific lesson was if you want your vote to be counted, vote in the morning. The generic lesson might have been the early bird gets the worm, but I don't think so.
My husband woke up early yesterday and put on a dapper suit. He looked very good. It was his birthday and he had to be in court as a potential witness (the potential was small). He ran across the street, voted in the VA primary, and was back by the time I was ready to leave for work. I shrugged. I would be voting in the evening and would make sure I got out of work early enough to make it before they closed at 7:00.
I left work around 4:30, took the metro as usual, got on the bus as usual, and sat in the parking lot for a good long while. Odd, I thought. Annoying, of course. But I had plenty of time. I graded a few papers, and then, when I looked up from my papers I realized I was still staring at Pentagon City. I looked at my watch and realized I had been sitting next to Pentagon City for the last half hour. Around 6:20, I started to get really worried and started calling people to see if they had voted yet. Everyone had. Long story short, I went on a four hour long bus ride to go six miles. It was easily the most ridiculous commute of my life. To add insult to injury, at 9:00 when I finally stepped off the bus I immediately fell down on my hands and knees. I was on a sheet of ice that stretched across the sidewalk, up all the steps through my complex and across the driveway, etc.
I did not get to vote. The good news was that the guy I was going to vote for won anyway, but I felt like a little slug. To be fair, I don't know how slugs feel, but knowing you can be destroyed by something as simple as table salt can not be an exhilirating feeling. The thing is, I really like voting. Anyway, I have resolved to always vote in the morning from now on. And also to look for a new job the location of which is not so susceptible to rush hour traffic and weather.
My husband woke up early yesterday and put on a dapper suit. He looked very good. It was his birthday and he had to be in court as a potential witness (the potential was small). He ran across the street, voted in the VA primary, and was back by the time I was ready to leave for work. I shrugged. I would be voting in the evening and would make sure I got out of work early enough to make it before they closed at 7:00.
I left work around 4:30, took the metro as usual, got on the bus as usual, and sat in the parking lot for a good long while. Odd, I thought. Annoying, of course. But I had plenty of time. I graded a few papers, and then, when I looked up from my papers I realized I was still staring at Pentagon City. I looked at my watch and realized I had been sitting next to Pentagon City for the last half hour. Around 6:20, I started to get really worried and started calling people to see if they had voted yet. Everyone had. Long story short, I went on a four hour long bus ride to go six miles. It was easily the most ridiculous commute of my life. To add insult to injury, at 9:00 when I finally stepped off the bus I immediately fell down on my hands and knees. I was on a sheet of ice that stretched across the sidewalk, up all the steps through my complex and across the driveway, etc.
I did not get to vote. The good news was that the guy I was going to vote for won anyway, but I felt like a little slug. To be fair, I don't know how slugs feel, but knowing you can be destroyed by something as simple as table salt can not be an exhilirating feeling. The thing is, I really like voting. Anyway, I have resolved to always vote in the morning from now on. And also to look for a new job the location of which is not so susceptible to rush hour traffic and weather.
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