I'm pretty tired and uncomfortable (nothing surprisingly so--I have to admit I have pretty average pregnancies, maybe even on the easy side), and think about the future wherein most of my clothes more or less fit.
I also want to enjoy every last minute with my precious oldest child. I don't know that I can give words to how awesome she is and how lucky I am to have her. And what a great Daddy she has, by the way.
I'm scared, a little. Less than I thought I would be, but it's still there. Taking my fish oil like a champ to ward off depression. Doing my preggo workout to ward off repeat tears from hell. All the while the serenity prayer plays in the background.
I'm unprepared. So far the child owns two shirts (only one will fit him right away). No bags packed, no carseat loaded, no bassinet set up, no clue on his name. We still have time.
At least I am 99.9% convinced we still have plenty of time. Not expecting this kid before spring arrives officially. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. Yes I am setting myself up for karma to kick my butt.
I feel ready. Which is kind of odd, since I'm not. But I think I can love this baby. I think I can be mom in a family of four. I think I can handle whatever he throws my way, because I will have my sweet sunshiney two-year-old with me to remind me that nothing lasts long. Well nothing except that welded-forever feeling.
Yet, I am clueless about the logistics of it all. I feel like I can picture us hanging around the house, but I can't quite picture how I will get two kids in the car without losing one (uh the two-year-old).
I'm excited to have LCD home with me for six weeks! What. The. Awesome.
I'm excited to "go into" labor. No forcing or cajoling. No drugs, no fears beyond the normal stuff. I hope I get to experience that.
I know I might not experience that. And I'm okay with it. I think.
I do have this suspicion that having two of them might make me seem or feel more legitimate as a parent. Not that I'm pretending now or anything. But just that I only know how to do it one way. Soon I'll be able to compare with a sample group of two instead of one.
I'm a little worried that none of the things that worked for Little A will work for this one. But it also makes me oddly hopeful, since almost nothing worked for Little A as a newborn. I mean, what are the odds of having two in a row like that?
Diaper changes might be a little different this time.
I just don't see how "sleep when the baby sleeps" has any hope of working this time. "Sleep when the baby sleeps while simultaneously the toddler deigns to actually stay down for a nap?" Again, can I say how excited I am to have LCD home with me for six weeks?
I'm so happy it's almost spring. And it's staying light out til 6:00!
Well, that's fifteen, which is probably already three times as much as anyone wanted to read, so I think I'll call it good.
4 comments:
I think you'll be rockin' awesome with two. The Lord will never give you more than you can handle. Maybe I'll take a day off when LCD goes back to work and we can hang just like we did with your screaming 12 day old. I think it will be more awesome because it will be spring and who doesn't love sunshine, flowers and the happy laughter of a 2 year old playing mud.
I still miss you even though you are not far away.
I"m not sure if it was a coincidence or "well intentioned (male)" that you titled this post Second Time Around. I thought it was cute anyhow. But that is beside the point. You will be awesome. I have a few friends that did the hypnobabies program. They seemed to like it. When it does get hard, because we all know it will, remember that it's only for a season. A sister in my ward always says, "Even the scriptures state, 'It came to pass' it didn't come to stay."
Yep, I am being cute on purpose. I do these sorts of things just to see if I can catch LCD reading my blog, which is very rare.
And I do have a good feeling about rockin' this.
ahhh you are going to be great at the 2 kid thing! it must help immensely to know that you guys make really cute babies, and nothing is better than a teeny tiny cute baby. or a fat baby. just babies in general are pretty darn great.
Post a Comment