My big girl

The other night, when she had only been using her "big girl bed" for a few days I woke up to Little A's hysterical crying (LCD snoozed through it like the professional sleeper he is) and came in to see what happened. I found her on the floor, looking disoriented and scared. She was shaking as she sobbed.

"M-m-m-mommy. Is it book time?"

"No, sweetheart, it's night-night time," I gathered her up in my arms and she snuggled up to me.

"Should we open the curtains?"

"No. Right now it's time for sleeping."

"Should we turn the yight on?" (y=l)

"Not right now."

"Should we sing the sunshine song?" This is the question that made me melt.

"Of course. Let's sing the sunshine song." I held her tight and sang "You Are My Sunshine" with a couple made-up verses thrown in and she slowly got calmer and calmer.

Then she said, "Should [Little A] sing the sunshine song?"

"Yes," I said and waited for her to do what she was going to do (I didn't know). When she didn't start I sang "You are my . . ." and THEN she started singing and sang every word including "You never know dear, how much I yove you."

It broke my heart.

I love that little girl so much. She IS my sunshine. I'm no perfect mom. Wasn't from the beginning and I'm still not. I get exasperated by her energy. I get so impatient when she goes nuts on one of her favorite books and tears it up. When, on the 4,982nd diaper change of her life she screams and shouts "no, mommy!" and wiggles and wipes poo on the wall, and it's not like we haven't been through this before and I haven't told you why it's important to change your diaper. When all the other kids in the class/at the store/at church seem to stay right next to their parent and listen quietly, but she thinks every moment of life is a chance to scream and run. Of course my getting exasperated doesn't do squat. So my new mom resolution is no yelling at her. I've done it a few more times than I would like in my desperate moments and it gets me nowhere and I am quite ashamed, to be honest.

She IS my sunshine. Though it can be tiresome for me, how beautiful is it that she thinks just about every moment of life is a chance to scream and run? A chance to shout and sing. A chance to grab me around the legs and shout "I yove you, mommy!" A chance to go to the next great adventure, all the while beckoning "Come on, mommy!" (as if to say you don't want to miss this). A chance to win over a new friend with smiles and peek-a-boos and sudden hugging with no warning (we're working on asking "do you want a hug?" still).

The other day we spent a good five minutes making silly, shocked faces at each other and cracking up after singing "when the bough breaks, the cradle will . . .Aaagh!"

My precious and precocious kiddo, I never could have dreamed such a wonderful whole child such as you are. Our family has been so blessed by your absolute radiance. Happy 2nd birthday, my love.