Working for a Living vs. Getting Paid to Do Nothing

The last couple weeks I have been in limbo land, and let me tell you it's not a very fulfilling place. I have been getting paid (theoretically--my pay check in a couple weeks will tell the truth) for doing nothing--or almost nothing; I have been given a few small tasks to do as I "work" from home. A dream come true, right? Money for Nothing, as they say.



It's like a grant from the NEA (that's a simile--I don't really have a grant). I can do whatever I want. So what did I do? Not much.

I worked on some stories--for a little while, and practiced guitar--a couple times--with a metronome since my timing could use some work. I read the Bible (it's true). And I wasted endless hours surfing the net. But everything I did happened in short spurts. I figured if I get too carried away and my employer calls me or sends me an email and needs me to do something right away (which actually did happen a few times) I'll look like a dufus if I miss it. And my conscience kept weighing me down so I would send frequent emails: "Anything I can help you with?" "Has my laptop been approved yet?" "Anybody i should contact to speed things along?" "Am I REALLY getting paid right now?"

The result is that a good portion of the time I just felt like a loser, since I was not being of use. And I felt like a loser because I was not managing my time to complete any projects that I feel are really important--like sending out my work for publication. AND I felt like an impostor when I talked to people with "real jobs" about my day.

Today the real work starts. I might not even like it. It is technical writing, for the sake of poor pete. It's not something people get really excited about. But I know I can do it. And I can do it well. And I can be of use and do my part to increase the efficiency of the federal government (hah!). Soon we shall see which I prefer. Which do you think you would prefer, random blog readers?
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On a completely other note, the actor that played Owen Meany did a supremely excellent job conjuring his essence. The show was very entertaining, though the climactic scene lost a little oomph from its original telling. It is a very cool to see a drama you know rendered on stage by people that (at least mostly) get it.